This morning I considered, very briefly, what would happen if I quit. Just…gave up on school, walked out the gates of the Uni and just got on a place to some exotic location. (I thought all this while watching Kourtney and Kim Take New York and thinking of how amazing their lifestyle must be…) I mean…tonnes of people who are successful don’t have a college degree…could I be one of them? I feel like I’m being crushed by the weight of so many things right now…uni work, of course, but also getting a job and leasing a car and renting an apartment and moving out and starting my life. This couldn’t have come at a better time though, since I’m graduating (if I ever get this work done and a my professor back home revereses my I as soon as I send her my paper). It must suck (yes, I used the work suck) to have to come to Europe for a semester and then have to go back home and finish college…after this amazing experience! No, I’m better off just being done with it all.
But as I said…I considered giving up on college…literally 12 days before I’m supposed to graduate…and then I got on Tumblr (my second love in life after Twitter) and saw a picture of a young boy with cancer in the hospital wearing a F— Cancer t-shirt. And then I saw a cartoon of a gay couple who were denied the adoption of a child while below was a couple who were abusing their many children. All the sadness in the world kind of works on your heart after a while…and so, even though I never really would have gotten on a plane to Vienna, I have found strength for the day, at least, to keep going. Finishing college was never a dream of mine, I knew it was going to happen, I selfishly expected it, but there are so many other dreams of people’s that I’m living. I always laugh when I hear “First World Pains” like “My web browser won’t offer to remember my password. now i must type it in every time” or “My internet is slow so my Netflix movie keeps needing to reload.” The everyday trils that get to us and yet so don’t have computers or access to the internet for that matter…I guess it all boils down to perspective. Something I’m usually very good at having…usuaully. I mean, I’m studying in England. Some people never even leave their state. I’ve traveled all over…I’ve seen the Eiffel Tower! and some people will only ever dream of it. I’m a lucky girl. And making it through these next 12 days is going to be hard…but I’m going to make it.
