Because I know the trivial natterings of my life are EXACTLY what you want to read about on a Friday night, here’s a story for you, internet:

Last Saturday I went home. To the country. The deep, deep heart of country-land-Ohio. Where opening your car door for 5 minutes means you’ll get a potpourri of critters in your car.

Eh. It’s the country. It happens. No big deal.

Until I was driving home (to my flat) and a massive spider crawled down from my dash on the passenger side. I almost swerved and died. By the time I had turned into the library parking lot to catch it…it had scurried off.

I turned around and drove all the way back to my parents house in hopes my dad could use the shop vac to sweep it out.

That’s right, internet, I drove alllll the way back for a spider.

We couldn’t find him so when I got home I sprayed some bug spray under the seat and threw the bottle in the back seat.

On Monday during lunch I weighed my options. The two BEST ways I could think of to get rid of Fred (yes, I named him and gave him a personality) were:

1) Set off a bug bomb in my car. But that meant thoroughly cleaning it afterwards AND airing it out for a whole afternoon. During which more bugs could get in.

2) Pay $167 for my car to be detailed. They use high heat and steam to clean the flooring so that would surely get rid of him.

I told both options to a friend. Apparently they both fall into the “overkill. you need to calm down” category.

In the end, I settled for going to the hardware store and buying some bug traps and crossing my fingers.

All week my car has been smelling like celery which I chalked up to the bug traps (which are just sticky paper, by the way, and have no smell) and the light spray I did on Sunday just under the seat.


Remember that bottle of spray  I threw in the back seat of my car? Yeah. TOTALLY leaking all week on my back seat (thankfully onto a plastic bag and a paper flyer instead of my leather seats).

No wonderrrrr I’ve developed a nice cough.

I’ve been breathing in toxic bug spray in a closed space twice a day for a week.

Well done, self, well done.

The good news is I think Fred either threw up the deuces and left orrrrr he’s just decided to be my friend and stay away. Either way, I haven’t seen him in a bit. Thanks, Fred.

And happy Friday.