At this point it’s probably the worst kept secret in America that I’m working on building a website by myself. I’ve actually built a few in the past with technical assistance and once where I just straight up hand coded the jankest website to prove my skill. These are the things I find interesting and like to do in my free time. It’s okay to judge me. But, while I find web and graphic design the most frustrating and rewarding things ever, I occasionally can lose track of time and find I’ve been sitting for 6 or 7 hours pondering certain elements or trying to figure something out without having to Google it. Cue the “Kassey Needs A Break” time.

Tonight I decided to make scones. Mostly because I was drinking tea and what goes with tea better than scones and clotted cream?! Little did I know these scones would change my life. They were THAT good. (Toot toot, I just tooted my own horn).

I found a couple recipes online and decided to just make up my own version since I’m only one person and don’t want 2 dozen scones. Strike that. I want 2 dozen scones. I could eat 2 dozen scones. But then I’d hate myself.

Here’s what you need to wing it:

  • 1 1/2 cups flour (I sieved mine. It probably makes no difference but I always see fancy chefs doing it.)
  • 3 tablespoons sugar
  • 2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 3/4 cup cranberries or sultanas (however many you want, really)
  • 5 tablespoons kind of cold salted butter cut into little tiny itty bitty cubes
  • Orange zest
  • 1/2 cup 2% milk (and then a small reserve, just in case)

Heat yo’ oven! To approx 400*F. I have a vintage gas oven and no in-oven thermometer so I think any temperature around 400 should do it. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper while you’re at it.

Mix the above ingredients flour through the cranberries together with a measuring cup/spoon/spatula (I used all three because I’m an idiot). If you’re using orange zest, throw that in too.

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Now roll up your sleeves, move your DSLR, and throw in the cubes of butter and start squishing them around until the mixture resembles cornmeal or muffin mix. There really shouldn’t be any chunks of butter left (because you ate a few or because it’s all mixed in….yes…I sometimes eat small cubes of butter…I know…gross).

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Wash your hands. They’ll be gross.

Punch a crater hold in the middle of the dry mixture and pour in 1/4c. of milk. Mix it like a Justin Bieber remix. Add the second 1/4c slowly. You don’t want it to get too goopy..or worse…runny. Conversely, if it looks too dry, tip a little more liquid in.

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Sprinkle flour on your workbench and put the dough on it. Put the same amount of flour on your hands as LeBron puts chalk on his for his powder toss.

Knead the dough a time or two more on the bench to make sure all the dry ingredients are together.

Dunk it on the baking sheet and pound the ball into a 1cm round disc (I literally open-palm slapped my dough silly just for the satisfaction of it).

Put flour on a long, sharp knife and cut the Big Round Scone into wedges. Spread them out a bit unless you want a pizza cutting challenge later.

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Bake for 20ish minutes. I checked on mine at 20 and they were done but I like them a little brown so I left it in an additional 2 minutes.

Serve hot out of the oven with spread or serve room temperature with jam or clotted cream.

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