Internet. I’m in a rut. A funk. A haze.
I don’t understand why.
I never do.
There’s never a reason.
Everything is good. Work is good. Life is good. I’m healthy. I have little to actually worry about besides what I’m going to wear tomorrow and what I’ll make for dinner.
But here I am. In the middle of the day. Paralyzed. I fear that I’m not doing a good enough job at anything. I fear that I’m failing (even though there are no indicators that I am). I fear everything I want is slipping away from me (when it’s not).
And the worst part is that even though I recognize that I AM in a rut and that nothing really IS wrong…I still feel bad. I just feel bad.
Maybe it’s because it’s Monday and I’m on a coffee detox this week (the addiction is real. and it’s bad).
I just need to make it through the day. Don’t stop. Keep working. Try not to cry (I cried my entire way to work). And then tonight I’m going to put some laundry in, take a long shower, make dinner, put on a face mask, and watch TV (or read). Everything else will wait until tomorrow. I need to fix myself today.
As a fun fact of the day…
1 fl oz of liquid caffeine has 500mg of caffeine
A 12oz diet coke has 45mg
A tall (12oz) coffee at Starbucks has 260mg
And 8oz of black tea has roughly 45mg