Striving for perfection is hard, internet. Not even perfection! Just striving to be better is hard. It’s exhausting. It wears you down.
And for a while, I admit, I quit trying. For a while I felt (keyword) I had too many plates spinning in the air. And in order to keep them spinning, I had to look up, not forward. I had to monitor them all and that’s all I could do.
That’s so false. Because I know there are people out there doing so much more. Why am I wasting my potential?
So, as in the military, I fell back. Called in the troops. Took time to regroup so I could form a new attack.
In the past few weeks, beside actual work and immediate relationships (family, friends, you know) that called for my attention, I spent time reflecting on where I was and where I was going. Were all the “goals” I had on my list actually working to get me to a place I wanted to be if I accomplished them? What other things weren’t goals but were bucket list items?
We’re basically halfway through 2015…and it’s supposed to be my best year ever. Has it been so far? (It has). What can I improve? What has gone well? What can I finally ease up on to focus on something else?
I’ve been faced with some of the toughest challenges of my life so far (I think). Scary challenges: changing careers. Moving to a new city. Losing loved ones. Health scares. But also amazing challenges. Realizing that I’m no longer on the hunt for the next best thing. My life isn’t about trying to figure out what I don’t want to do…it’s about figuring out what I DO want to do. What makes my eyes light up. Not just what makes me not hate my life. It’s not about identifying problems, it’s about finding solutions.
And it’s all of those things that have brought me to here. More happy than ever.
But it’s been a struggle to maintain such a great momentum. The whole “YAY LIFE” thing gets old fast sometimes when you just want to be a Debbie Downer. It’s hard to face a setback and go home and go “I had a junk day….now I have to workout.” Like…get a clue…I’m not one of those people. I want to take a shower and watch doctor dramas in bed while crying and cuddling a stuffed animal. Eating a bag of chips may also be involved.
But you have to keep getting up. You HAVE TO. If you fall off the wagon, the longer you wait to get back on the harder it becomes. But you have to.
It’s like working out. Working out ALWAYS makes me feel better afterwards. I sleep better. I have more energy. There’s only positive benefits from working out! Yet I find it so hard to do most of the time. Why? I like the afterwards part so much! But long stretches of time (months…) will go by where I don’t work out but when I get the inkling to? I do. You have to start again.
I once read, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.”
Keep going. Keep the plates spinning. Keep your eyes forward.
This is going to be the best year ever.
