Over the course of my life one of the biggest things I’ve struggled with, and one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, is that you can’t love others if you don’t love yourself.
Which is why I’ve purposefully avoided entering into a relationship until recently because I felt I wouldn’t be able to give 100% of myself to another person if I spent 100% of my time dealing with self-esteem issues and personal worries.
2013 was a pretty rough year but by the end of it I felt I was the best version of myself to date. I was happy, healthy, doing a job I loved, spending generous amounts of time with people I loved…everything was perfect.
You were probably waiting for a “BUT” statement.
There isn’t one.
In 2014 I’ve met an amazing man who loves me for me (including my flaws but I know the ones that bother him), worked on some of the biggest projects of my career so far, and got to give a talk at a conference (holy cow that was crazy fun).
There’s no stopping there.
I’ve had some lows this year (uhh…that two week period where all I did was cry…) but I’m continuing to move forward. I’m making a concerted effort to take care of both my body and mind by going to the docotrs (something I’ve been putting off) and working on personal projects (that fulfill my desire to learn new things). I’ve been reading magazines in the evenings (my favorite guilty pleasure) and taking time to slow down (something my anxiety hates but my mind needs). I’ve even started a mini spa routine. Whatttttt.
The last piece of the puzzle is the hardest for me to deal with. My weight and diet. I’ve been doing pretty good since last Monday of only eating foods I’ve prepared save for a few meals out but it’s time to really crack down and make a lifestyle change, not just follow a seasonal diet. I weigh approximately 15 pounds more than I did last summer so my goal for May and part of June is to lose those 15 pounds again before our vacation to North Carolina. That’s 43 days to lose 15 pounds. I can do that, right? It’s a little more difficult with my foot stopping me from running or even walking (so no crazy cardio) but I’m going to keep at the pilates to build muscle and hope that with a good diet of fruits and veggies combined with really really mild walking and pilates will at least help me lose a little weight and improve my overall health.
Here’s to May! Let’s do this.
Image Courtesy Of: http://karabess.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/metamorphosis/
