It’s a twofer tonight! (Why the heck is “twofer” in my computer’s dictionary?) I have a lot on my mind. Last night I stayed up until 1:30 watching two episodes of Keeping Up with the Kardashians AND the new episode of Kate Plus 8…just so I didn’t have to be alone with my own thoughts. My mind is going a million miles an hour every second of the day and I find it hard to concentrate on little else. I’ve started carrying a notepad around with my everywhere for random thoughts (pack this, buy this, bring that). Ironically enough, the next chapter in this book I’m reading is called “This Stress Is Killing Me! God, Give Me Peace.” har har.
Two things were taken off of my mind today though. The situation of when my degree would be posted, Dec or May, has been resolved. And I won’t have to wait until May to get my degree. Thank God. Second, the International Business Culture class I’ve been trying to get substituted for Global Finance all summer has finally gone through and been put on my program evaluation. I’m so thankful for many people today…Rebecca in the Global Ed Office for not declaring me the worst most whiny study abroad student ever, Wendy in the Dean’s Office for copying the substitution form with signatures before it was lost, and Amy in the Registrar’s office for continuing to deal with me always with a smile on her face. All with smiles, all in a timely manner. Things are finally working out in my favor.
My latest thought, although not a stress or worry, is just the overwhelming feeling of not being around for the holidays here. I didn’t realize how much they meant to me until I realized that I wouldn’t be here to celebrate them. Yes, I know I’m going to get to celebrate new holidays in different ways. And I’m excited for that (like Guy Fawkes day on Nov 5! Bonfires and fireworks. Yes!) It’s just been on my mind a lot more lately….no buying Halloween candy in bulk…no Thanksgiving (no stuffing and cranberries!), but most importantly, no snow, no Black Friday shopping, no decorating our house and listening to Christmas music on December 1, no watching Love Actually every week starting 5 weeks before Christmas like in the movie, no Christmas shopping, no gift wrapping, no cookie baking.
I’ll get home about 4.5 days before Christmas Eve. Praying my flight isn’t delayed due to snow like last year. I’ll die if I have to spend a single day of the holiday season stuck in an airport. (At least I’ll have my laptop, phone, and a book, right?)
Part of me wants to sigh and be sad to miss all of these holidays at home and the other half of me is telling the sad half to stop singing the Rich Kid Blues and be happy that I’ll get to experience new holidays with new friends. I don’t think this feeling is particular to studying abroad though. Even when I’m 30 I’m sure I’ll still miss my family during the holidays, if I’m not with them. Let’s just say…growing up is tough.